Letting Go
by newportbabe44
Summary: They can't let their little boy go. [one-shot]


**Letting Go**

**Disclaimer-** Bring me down why don't you, The O.C. isn't mine, and unless for Halloween I dress up like Josh, it never will be. Interesting idea Anyways, gonna give this angst/drama thing a try just for the heck it. I watched "The Forgotten" and by the time I got out of the theater, I had a fic in my mind. heh. So...enjoy!

"Bye sweetie." She mouthed and waved as her husband stood beside her, waving as well to their little boy. The blonde little boy blew them a kiss as they both smiled and caught his kiss. Their little thing they always did. He mouthed 'bye' to his parents, as if in slow motion, and got on the yellow bus, his body disappearing into the crowd of other children.

"Ready to go?" the man asked, as the bus slowly started to disperse in the fog. The woman shook her head. "Sure we can't just stay here?" she asked with a slight smile.

He laughed. "We'll be back in a few hours, I promise." She smiled at him even wider; wrapping an arm around the other's waist and making their way home.

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The cordless phone dropped, the batteries spilling out and clunking on the wooden floor as she collapsed to the ground, warm hands embracing her.

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"Tragedy struck today when weather conditions became deadly, and killed a child, who happened to be on a school trip. Authorities say--" The T.V. clicked off.

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"This is all your fault!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "You promised we'd be back there! We're not! You lied! You lied to me! Your wife!"

He tried to get near her, but she refused, keeping her arms outstretched in defense. Tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm sorry, it's...it's..." He couldn't finish his sentence.

He hadn't kept his promise.

"You're a liar!" she yelled again. "I hate you! You son of a bitch! How could you do that to me!?" She glared at him, but had nothing else to say, all spent.

He didn't say anything as she shoved past him. Her tears were heard as they fell to the floor and she collapsed onto their bed.

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She fingered the wooden casket, all of its engravings and creases, memorizing each by heart. Her hand trembled against the surface as another hand slipped into hers, leading her away. "Please don't," she whispered, looking deep into his blue eyes. "Come on," was that all that came out of his mouth as he continued to hold her hand, and tried not to look back as she tried to do the same.

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Her hands clutched the stuffed bear as she sewed on his missing eye. "What are you doing?" he asked. He tried to make a joke, just to see her smile, but it didn't work. "You were never good with the needle." He saw a stony look appear across her face as she turned her back to him, continuing to scramble with the needle. "I love you my baby," she whispered into the bear as she held it close to her heart. "And I'll never let go."

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"I can make you some coffee," she offered, pointing to the coffee mug she herself was holding. He shook his head, putting on his tie and grabbing his briefcase. She put down her mug and went over to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," he replied in a snappy tone. She seemed taken back but didn't make anything of it. She was too worried about something else other than coffee. They both knew what today was. His shoulder brushed against hers innocently as he made his way to his car.

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"I miss you," he cried softly, tracing both of their happy faces in the picture. "I love you." He mouthed to the picture with the three happy people in it. He looked up as he saw a shadow come into his office and wiped his eyes quickly. "This is for ya sire," the UPS guy said in a southern dialect, handing him a package and a clipboard to sign. "Sorry it got here so late, but ya get it f'r free now!"

"Thanks, but it's been about 3 months since I ordered it..."

The UPS guy seemed unhappy with the response but just shrugged it off. "Is it for ya son?" he asked, pointing to the autographed, collector's edition football jersey. The blue eyes looked up at him sharply, giving him back the signed clipboard as he took the jersey out of its wrapping box. "Yeah," he nodded his head. "Birthday today," he explained. The UPS man nodded. "Tell 'em I said happy bir'day."

"Thanks." The mail guy took his clipboard and left, leaving the jersey and the man alone. The blue eyed man picked up the picture he was holding in the beginning as he stared at it again, the football jersey in hand now.

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"My baby boy." The whisper was heard loudly as their child's face appeared on the T.V.

"Today we would like to wish a happy birthday to Trent Atwood, who sadly died in the tragic bus accident 3 months ago. You're in our prayers Trent and we wish your family the best." The newscaster smiled sadly at the screen and moved to her partner. "In other-news-"

The two viewers tuned the rest of the words out as he dropped the check he was signing and the electricity bill scattered onto the floor. He walked behind the woman, his hands behind shoulders.

Her tears cascaded down her pale cheeks, bringing a little color to them. His face squinted as he tried to keep his tears from coming out. His wife's body shook as the painful memories came back to them and he tried to sooth her, bending over the couch and nuzzled his face into her neck, wetting it with his tears. "Shh..." he cooed, wrapping his arms around her tightly, holding on as she held him back.

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His voice voice rang through the three bedroom house. "Are you home!?" He started to walk around when he heard her faint voice from the bathroom. He tapped on the door lightly and when he heard no response he opened the door and saw her in the porcelain bathtub, bubbles filled up to her chest. He smiled as she turned around to face him, letting her hair fall out of her ponytail. "Hey, you're home early," she commented.

"Uh...yeah." He looked at her she picked up the loofah and started to rub it against her arms. "Do you uh...uh..." he stuttered over his words, awkwardness overcoming him. This was a very sexual position and it had been a long time since they had been in one of these. She laughed awkwardly and pointed to her back. "Could you?"

He nodded. "Sure." He walked the short distance, bending down to eye level with her, rolling up the sleeves of his jacket as she handed him the loofah. He started to rub her back gently; the image of her body replaying slowly in his mind. She turned around slowly, looking at him. He seemed scared. "Uh...sorry, did...did I do something..." She shook her head with a small smile covering her face. "You didn't do anything wrong," she whispered, using her legs to sit up and have her face only a few inches from his.

This felt strange. It had been since forever since the two of them had shared a kiss. He leaned in, taking charge, and kissed her lightly while she returned it. And just as she parted her lips to deepen the kiss, the phone rang.

They pulled back, startled. "Sorry," they said simultaneously, as though they had done something wrong. He went to retrieve the phone. _But be sorry for what?_ they both thought.

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Her robe slid off and made a puddle to the ground as his hands slid around her shoulders. "I've missed you," she moaned as he kissed her lips, not leaving any room to breathe. Just the right amount of passion to know that she was still wanted. "I've missed you." His voice whispered back. His hands went immediately to her bra snaps in the front and unsnapped them, her bare breasts on his chest. Her hands roamed the familiar territory, until finally, they went inside his boxers, taking them off quickly as they lowered onto the bed, finally making passionate love after many months of pain.

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His hand held hers tightly, their wedding rings sliding against each other. Marissa looked at the picture on her nightstand, the three of them, her, Ryan, and their 9 year old son, Trent. Tears welled up in her eyes as she took her hand and traced the outline of his face. "I miss you my baby," she whispered to him.

She felt Ryan's head move onto her shoulder, his head laying there gently. "I miss him so much," she whispered.

"I know you do, I do too. But I promise..._I promise_ _you--_ everything will be all right." He hadn't kept his promise last time and look what happened. "Marissa I pr--"

"I know," she said quietly, taking his hand into her own. "And I don't hate you either, I never could." She added quietly.

"I know," he admitted.

"But now _you_ promise me one thing...please?"

Ryan wiped the tears from her eyes and his own as well, gulping loudly. "I promise," he said, kissing her bare shoulder.

"You can't make me let go, and I don't even want you to try." Her voice was low, but soft.

He stroked her hair gently, running his fingers through the matted material. His naked body pressed up against hers tightly, he held on a little tighter. "I never could."

Because looking at the nine year old boy, with a mix of his parents in him, they knew they could never let go.

END


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